(no subject)

[bowloforanges]

i'm not sure if i have anything worth saying but here goes nothing. i don't know what i feel, how i feel. i'm afraid that if i start typing how i truly feel inside i'll just have a huge breakdown and end up hurting myself. lol. i don't know what to do with myself. i do have finals until the end of this week but after that... what... what will i do? for three whole months until school starts again? i just applied to starbucks bc i thought it'd be fun though i'm going to be hugely disappointed if they end up not calling me cause like... who gets rejected by starbucks? like come on... anyways
i've been staying at my mom's for a couple of days and i can say with confidence that this is the first time in my life ever that we've made it this far without her screaming at me having some sort of episode over the tiniest thing. makes me reconsider things. like i might be able to spend the whole summer living in the same house as her? idk. we'll see.
i need to listen to more music. i'm so upset that i forgot to bring my nice new headphones here. i haven't been able to listen to anything for a while now. i have dozens of albums that i need to catch up on!!!
here i'll make a little list:
*swans
*deafheaven
*fka twigs
*bon iver
*panchiko
*japanese breakfast
*sharon van etten
*marina satti
*pulp
*bladee
*mogwai